Collector’s Box – The Dixie Chicks

  

The controversy is killing me!

The Dixie Chicks are the most important issue facing our country today and I simply refuse to stay quiet any longer.  And, what really blows me away is it’s being overshadowed by a lesser, completely manufactured controversy.  I mean, why are we so concerned about what these “entertainers” think about President Bush and his War on Buffet?  Who cares?  They’re only “entertainers”, right folks? – not politicians!  If I want to know about smackin’ my hoho with my villin’ in a hottub, I’ll talk to an entertainer.  If I want to know how to ban that CD and which bonfire to throw it into, I’ll talk to a politician.  It’d be like asking my dentist about any other shoe besides a gumshoe.  He’s just a dentist – not a private deeck – which is exactly what the three “entertainers” in Dixie Chicks precisely are.  I mean, let’s face it, folks, isn’t it a bit silly protesting outside a Dixie Chicks concert because they don’t like Bush – get a life people and move on nothing to see here! – when we really ought to be protesting outside a Dixie Chicks concert because they’re really a bunch of hermaphodites – everyone come on back, folks, definitely something to see here only don’t actually look because then you’re a sicko and I’ll have to protest you too.  So, let’s get it straight: different protest, different signs – same people standing outside the concert though if they want all the merrier – but, let’s not have two protests going at once because that could get ugly, only these are protesters, so not really really ugly, but kinda Disney ugly like the fight scenes in the “Beat It” video, no one want to be defeated!  So, haven’t we completely missed the point with the Dixie Chicks here people?  I mean, do I really want this rag-tag kind of “entertainer” influencing my children, even if I really only have one children and luckily he worships Slipknot and not this trash.  I sure as Heckle and Jeckle wouldn’t want my son emulating a bunch of women who are really both men and women at the same time!  This is the biggest gender-swapping people-influencing controversy since Dear Abbey turned out to be a priest!  You got chocolate on my peanut butter!

The name says it all: Dixie Chicks, clear as day, and I heard they got their name from some song by Lynard Skynnard called “Dude Looks Like a Lady, Dixie Chicks!” where there’s a line that says “Three guys should be both men and women at the same time and sing songs at football games and influence our children/And this bird will never change”  How do you think they pee?  And just to keep the steam away from the controversy they decided to fabricate another controversy about how they hate Bush (get it?) which is really just a rouge to make you forget they are both men and women at the same time.  It’s like Wag the Female Dog, and it’s working because the songs are so darn fun!