Right Way to Write : How to Write Effective Business Letters, Reports, Memos and E-Mail

 

This book taught me how to send my first email!

> While researching your request I found that your

> About You area has

> been disabled because you resubmitted reviews which

> had previously

> been removed from our web site.  These reviews had

> appeared in the

> About You area for your other account, which was

> shut down in July

> of 2001. 

>

> The intent of our customer reviews forum is to

> assist other customers

> in making informed purchased decisions.  As your

> reviews are satirical

> in nature, we don’t feel that they give an accurate

> representation of

> the items you review.  While we understand that they

> are meant to be

> entertaining, they would not be of help to other

> customers.  A number

> of your reviews go so far as to offer information

> that is actually

> incorrect, which would be a detriment to a customer

> who may be

> gathering information before making a purchase.  As

> this is the case,

> your reviews will not be returning to our web site

> and your About

> You area will remain disabled.

>

> Thank you for your understanding in this matter.

Up – R.E.M.

Old REM or new REM?  Which side you on? 

This CD has caused a whole lot of turmoil in the Thomas household, I can tell you that much.  It’s one of those classic family arguments that can really tear a family apart, kind of like tastes great less filling, butter parkay, hot side hot cool side cool.  I remember when my wife first told me she preferred the nutritious side of the Frosted Mini Wheat, I had to groan and fall to my chair.  Because you know what this means.  A fight.  Maybe some words a little too harsh and saying things perhaps we don’t really mean, you know what I’m saying.  And, if the councelor has to get involved in this one, so be it because my wife knows all about the sweet-tasting kid in me.  (But, I suppose I don’t need to tell you about the flip-side to this coin.  Nothing is more yummy than the Frosted Mini-Wheats love makin’ after an animated Frosted Mini-Wheats fight.  So, I guess there’s a good side and a bad side to these types of arguments.  Wait a minute! – even that has a duality!  This is getting confusing!  The duality has duality!)

So, my wife just hates any of the new R.E.M.  I call her a term I once made up: “music snob”.  This is someone who is a snob about stuff (you know like food and clothes).  Except not about food and clothes, instead about music.  You may use that term as you wish.

She says that Michael Stipe was so much more profound when you couldn’t figure out what he was saying.  Now that you can understand the words, it turns out he’s singing about a Andy Kaufman and truck stops.  I happen to like truck stops, although Andy Kaufman is a little too “bohemian” for my tastes.  I’d prefer a nice site gag once in a while you know.

I love the new R.E.M. because it’s exactly what it is.  You don’t have to hop onto the “internet” and try to get the lyrics off some bratty 15-year-old kid (who’ll probably just turn out to be a Federal agent again.)  I mean, why write a lyric if no one is going to be able to understand it.  That’d be just as pointless as making a painting where you can’t really tell if it’s a naked person or a plate of the sloppy joes.  And, THEN, lock that painting into a room that’s inside a castle that’s at the bottom of the ocean.  On Mars.  Now, you call that art?  I mean, if you carved a lyric on a tree in a forest and there was no one there to read it, that’d be early R.E.M.  Have you ever heard any of this early stuff?  I kind of like Radio Free Europe, but I’d never know because I have no idea what he’s talking about.  “Meet me in a country in the woods (???) / Go to go to go to go to goods (???) / Potato and the potato and potato (???)”  When I was a kid and there was a song where I didn’t know what the one word was, I’d always fill in “potato” instead.  And, besides, even if I had a clue what the flapjacks he was talking about I still wouldn’t know what he was talking about because, hey Michael buddy, radio has always been free.  In Europe and everywhere.  That’s why it’s called “radio” and not “HBO”.  And, don’t even tell me that they’re going to start charging you for radio, because I don’t care how many stations I pick up most of them are just static, which is probably the radio’s version of QVC.

But, now for the new R.E.M., you have to chop down all the trees in the forest, because you need the wood to build bleachers because this stadium is going to be packed and R.E.M. is in the house to rock the house.  This CD has a song called “Daysleeper”.  See?  Right away you know what the song is about.  A guy who sleeps during the day.  And, hey folks, this is R.E.M., not Marilyn Manson so the song isn’t about a vampire.  The guy sleeps during the day because he has a job that works at night and he’s kind of lonely and R.E.M. wrote a song about him.  “I work in the night and I sleep in the day / Don’t wake me up / I’m a daysleeper”.  So caloric but tasty!  “Parakeet” is about a guy who owns a parakeet.  “I have a parakeet / It sits in a cage / It’s my parakeet.”  And “Airportman” is about a guy at an airport.  And “Lotus” is about Lotus.  So, as R.E.M. would say: Why Not Smile?

Don’t get yourself worried about it.  This fight will continue and my wife and I will probably never agree on this one.  There’s just too much at stake.  She has her weird twisted opinion.  But, I say which would you rather have: songs about people with birds or songs about potatoes.  (But, don’t worry, when this fight is over, bring on the R.E.M. love makin’ – and I’ll make sure to click on “The One I Love” in the middle of it before my wife gets a chance to complain.)

Essential Under the Covers

  You know what to expect from these guys

The great thing about the Chilli Peps is they don’t want to surprise no one. You know what to expect from these guys. They’re like the Boston of the 90s. They wrote a song, they liked it, they said you know what guys we should change it around a little bit and wa-la here’s a new song! And, they’ve been doing it for years and they’re the best at doing it. I can’t stand it when I buy an album from a band that has decided to “expand” or “experiment” or “explore”. I say: Stay Away From The Ex Words. You’re a band: stick to what you know. That’s what the Chilli Peps have done. They wrote a catchy tune, and now they’ve rewritten it dozens of times, you know, so it doesn’t get old.

It makes no sense to try out something new. I mean, that’s not how you stay on time. That’s how you get “EXtinct”.

Live Rare Remix Box

 You know what to expect from these guys

The great thing about the Chilli Peps is they don’t want to surprise no one. You know what to expect from these guys. They’re like the Boston of the 90s. They wrote a song, they liked it, they said you know what guys we should change it around a little bit and wa-la here’s a new song! And, they’ve been doing it for years and they’re the best at doing it. I can’t stand it when I buy an album from a band that has decided to “expand” or “experiment” or “explore”. I say: Stay Away From The Ex Words. You’re a band: stick to what you know. That’s what the Chilli Peps have done. They wrote a catchy tune, and now they’ve rewritten it dozens of times, you know, so it doesn’t get old.

It makes no sense to try out something new. I mean, that’s not how you stay on time. That’s how you get “EXtinct”.

Uplift Mofo Party Plan

 You know what to expect from these guys

The great thing about the Chilli Peps is they don’t want to surprise no one. You know what to expect from these guys. They’re like the Boston of the 90s. They wrote a song, they liked it, they said you know what guys we should change it around a little bit and wa-la here’s a new song! And, they’ve been doing it for years and they’re the best at doing it. I can’t stand it when I buy an album from a band that has decided to “expand” or “experiment” or “explore”. I say: Stay Away From The Ex Words. You’re a band: stick to what you know. That’s what the Chilli Peps have done. They wrote a catchy tune, and now they’ve rewritten it dozens of times, you know, so it doesn’t get old.

It makes no sense to try out something new. I mean, that’s not how you stay on time. That’s how you get “EXtinct”.

Red Hot Chilli Peppers

  You know what to expect from these guys

The great thing about the Chilli Peps is they don’t want to surprise no one. You know what to expect from these guys. They’re like the Boston of the 90s. They wrote a song, they liked it, they said you know what guys we should change it around a little bit and wa-la here’s a new song! And, they’ve been doing it for years and they’re the best at doing it. I can’t stand it when I buy an album from a band that has decided to “expand” or “experiment” or “explore”. I say: Stay Away From The Ex Words. You’re a band: stick to what you know. That’s what the Chilli Peps have done. They wrote a catchy tune, and now they’ve rewritten it dozens of times, you know, so it doesn’t get old.

It makes no sense to try out something new. I mean, that’s not how you stay on time. That’s how you get “EXtinct”.

Freaky Styley

  You know what to expect from these guys

The great thing about the Chilli Peps is they don’t want to surprise no one. You know what to expect from these guys. They’re like the Boston of the 90s. They wrote a song, they liked it, they said you know what guys we should change it around a little bit and wa-la here’s a new song! And, they’ve been doing it for years and they’re the best at doing it. I can’t stand it when I buy an album from a band that has decided to “expand” or “experiment” or “explore”. I say: Stay Away From The Ex Words. You’re a band: stick to what you know. That’s what the Chilli Peps have done. They wrote a catchy tune, and now they’ve rewritten it dozens of times, you know, so it doesn’t get old.

It makes no sense to try out something new. I mean, that’s not how you stay on time. That’s how you get “EXtinct”.

One Hot Minute

  You know what to expect from these guys

The great thing about the Chilli Peps is they don’t want to surprise no one. You know what to expect from these guys. They’re like the Boston of the 90s. They wrote a song, they liked it, they said you know what guys we should change it around a little bit and wa-la here’s a new song! And, they’ve been doing it for years and they’re the best at doing it. I can’t stand it when I buy an album from a band that has decided to “expand” or “experiment” or “explore”. I say: Stay Away From The Ex Words. You’re a band: stick to what you know. That’s what the Chilli Peps have done. They wrote a catchy tune, and now they’ve rewritten it dozens of times, you know, so it doesn’t get old.

It makes no sense to try out something new. I mean, that’s not how you stay on time. That’s how you get “EXtinct”.

Mother’s Milk

  You know what to expect from these guys

The great thing about the Chilli Peps is they don’t want to surprise no one. You know what to expect from these guys. They’re like the Boston of the 90s. They wrote a song, they liked it, they said you know what guys we should change it around a little bit and wa-la here’s a new song! And, they’ve been doing it for years and they’re the best at doing it. I can’t stand it when I buy an album from a band that has decided to “expand” or “experiment” or “explore”. I say: Stay Away From The Ex Words. You’re a band: stick to what you know. That’s what the Chilli Peps have done. They wrote a catchy tune, and now they’ve rewritten it dozens of times, you know, so it doesn’t get old.

It makes no sense to try out something new. I mean, that’s not how you stay on time. That’s how you get “EXtinct”.

By the Way

  You know what to expect from these guys

The great thing about the Chilli Peps is they don’t want to surprise no one. You know what to expect from these guys. They’re like the Boston of the 90s. They wrote a song, they liked it, they said you know what guys we should change it around a little bit and wa-la here’s a new song! And, they’ve been doing it for years and they’re the best at doing it. I can’t stand it when I buy an album from a band that has decided to “expand” or “experiment” or “explore”. I say: Stay Away From The Ex Words. You’re a band: stick to what you know. That’s what the Chilli Peps have done. They wrote a catchy tune, and now they’ve rewritten it dozens of times, you know, so it doesn’t get old.

It makes no sense to try out something new. I mean, that’s not how you stay on time. That’s how you get “EXtinct”.